Gay Robot

Cheb Khaled, Rachid Taha, Faudel - 'Abdel Kader'

Abdelkader ya bou aâlam
Daq el hel aâlam
Dawi hali ya bou aâlam
Soultan el awliya

Allah daqt m'chelloul
Naâya n'challal wa n'goul
Naâya n'challal wa n'goul
Dimek dirli mziya
Allah daqt m'chelloul
Naâya n'challal wa n'goul
Naâya n'challal wa n'goul
Sultan el awliya

{Refrain:}
Ya sidi el houari
Fi mqamek nekhi dhari
Ya sidi el houari
Fi mqamek nekhi dhari
Ya sidi belqacem
Dir medjoudek ou thesen
Enta radjelghanem
Men dimek dirli mziya

{au Refrain}

Ya sidi boumediène
Ana fi ardhak an amman
Ya sidi boumediène
Ana bardhak an amman
Ya soultan el awliya
Ya bou aâlam en ghali

Ya soultan el awliya
Ya soultan el djilani

{au Refrain}

Ya hassan maghnia
Wa chfini abdallah
Wa chfini abdallah
Soultan el awliya

{au Refrain}

Ya sidi m'hamed benoûda
Sidi erdha aâliya
Ya sidi m'hamed benoûda
Sidi erdha aâliya
Ya sidi belkacem
Dir medjhoudek ou thesen
Enta aâcher ghanem
Men dimek dirli mziya

{au Refrain}

Wenzour sid el bourhan
Sidi abderrahmane
Soultan el awliya
Bou aâlam el ghali
Soultan el awliya
Ya sid en djilani

Translated:

Abdel Kader, my master, my guide
Ease my pain, make me strong
Help me through the dark night of my soul
O sweet girl of my homeland
Why is my heart so troubled
While yours is at peace?

In spite of love's many pleasures
She's turned away and left me
After a night of bliss
Abdel Kader, keeper of the keys

Keeper of my soul
I have left heaven and come back to earth
Away from her arms
I pray life is long enough to let me start over
Heal me and turn me away from my pain

Jambi On Acid

18 Wheels Of Gay

Ha.

Pee Wee and Grace Jones are still the shizz, yo.

Thanks to Buffalo Void.

Wrong!

Awesome.

Lindsay's Worst Nightmare

A fancy picture show all about me, y'all?

Gallery Of The Absurd

I got worms.

Gallery Of The Absurd

With all of my food issues....

it's surprising I am riveted by this show.

Many of the kitchens are unbelievably grody.

Luckily, I can get to see the UK and US versions.

'Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares'

This one is going to give me nightmares:

Part 1



Part 2



Part 3



Part 4

Didn't know there was a video for this.

Aly-Us - 'Follow Me'

Old-old skool house.

'This one time, I hooked up with this Colombian drug lord, at a cock fight....'

OMG

Lustral - 'Everytime'

There was a mix of this song that used to give me chills, and I just found out, I have it on a Seb Fontaine CD.

Yay!

Rise, robots, rise!

Golden Scans - 'The Boyfriend'

Ah.

So, a crazy bartending story.

I used to make out with this girl's straight ex-boyfriend [not pictured].

[The guy in the photo is another fellow 'mo I knew.]

How did I meet homegirls ex-boyfriend?

Somehow, one night when I was working the floor, we became ensconced in a conversation where tattoos came up.

He showed me his Marine tat, and another tat.... that he had on one of his arse-cheeks.

[Hubba hubba.]

Liquor being the social lubricant, and me being a hoochie-with-a-kissing-problem, [just ask Helen], I asked if I could make out with him.

She, and he, were totally OK with it.

So, of course I did.

And he was a great smoocher.

And a hot as hell ex-Marine.

[This is back in the day when I had straight-boy Mojo.]

Anywho, any time they would come to the club, I would always make out with him.

He was totally down with it, and we would all have a laugh about it

Eventually, I started to feel guilty for this, so I asked her if she was still cool with it.

Her words exactly:

'I don't care if he makes out with a guy. I only care if he makes out with another girl.'

[!]

At the time I was relieved, but also was kind of perplexed.

I had never known a girl who would be OK, with her beau making out with a dude.

Eventually, over the tenure of bartending, I came across various hetero/homo-flexbile arrangements that showed me that sexuality [at least when drugs and acohol are involved], is very fluid [pun intended].

In the end, I always knew he was straight.

We'd make out, and a little 'over-the-sweater action', but I knew it wouldn't end up in coitus [can 'mo's use that term?].

The experience with him, went on to further embolden my belief that just because a guy makes out with another dude, it doesn't make him family.

[Just ask my friend Sara about the other adventures of Kissing-Problem-Boy.]

Thank god for the hetero-flexibles!

I'm just burning, doing the Neutron Dance.

Pointer Sisters

Today In - 'Luke Chueh'

Possessed

Curses!

That previous post on Hayseed Dixie totally got this dern song in my head.

Oak Ridge Boys - 'Elvira'

Sorry 'fer gittin' all country on y'all today.

Via Zombie Fights Shark

Hayseed Dixie - 'Don't Feel Like Dancing'

Yay.

Amazon launched their mp3 store yesterday, and while that's now big news to iPod peeps, it's big news for us others as it doesn't have DRM or any other type of copy restriction.

It even includes small and indie labels.

iTunes can suck it.

Whoo-hoo!

Ha ha.

'Honky Tonk Ba-donka-donk'

Trace Adkins

I think I am going to start using the term 'britches'.

Ack!

Baseball as a contact sport.

Hubba hubba.

One wild night in L.A. for Rockies

Doggie-style

Wonder if it's the infamous peanut-butter lady.

Animal-shelter volunteer suspended

'A volunteer with a Denver animal shelter has been suspended and is being investigated by police for "inappropriate behavior with a dog," a shelter official said.
Officials at the Denver Municipal Animal Shelter "initiated the investigation" against the volunteer, said Ellen Dump, spokeswoman with Denver Environmental Health.

"We've asked for an investigation by police and the district attorney's office," Dunn said.

Dunn declined to go into details, pending the outcome of the investigation.

"There's a big yuck factor here," she said.

The dog was not harmed, she said.'

Do you think....

people unconsciously pack on weight in the fall for preparation for winter?

I have had strong cravings for stuff I usually limit my intake on.

Like lately, BLT's and bacon cheeseburgers have been on my mind.

Today I had to go an get an Italian sausage sandwich for lunch.

[Nummy, num num. Not as good as Pass Key's version, but it did it's job.]

Luckily, I haven't gained any weight over the last two weeks.

But I wonder if humans innately pack on the pounds due to our caveman days and knowing that food was more scarce in the harsh winter months.

Tootie's Bong

Today In - 'Strange Cravings'

I just got the most overwhelming hankerin' for apple butter.

Odd.

I think it's from seeing all the crab apple trees blooming.

People are freaks, man.

Man finds human leg in smoker

Purchase at auction results in macabre discovery

'MAIDEN, N.C. - A man who bought a smoker Tuesday at an auction of abandoned items might have thought twice had he looked inside first.

Maiden police said the man opened up the smoker and saw what he thought was a piece of driftwood wrapped in paper. When he unwrapped it, he found a human leg, cut off 2 to 3 inches above the knee.

The smoker had been sold at an auction of items left behind at a storage facility, so investigators contacted the mother and son who had rented the space where the smoker was found.

The mother, Peg Steele, explained her son had his leg amputated after a plane crash and kept the leg following the surgery “for religious reasons” she doesn’t know much about.

“The rest of the family was very much against it,” Steele said.

Steele said her son, John Wood, plans to drive to Maiden, about 35 miles northwest of Charlotte, to reclaim his amputated leg, police said.'

Word Origins - 'Skosh'

'[Q] “The word skosh appeared recently in a Wall Street Journal crossword puzzle and, apparently, means ‘a little bit’. Can you tell me about the derivation of his word? I have checked the OED, Onions on etymology, etc. and have found nothing. It looks like an acronym but I can find none listed in various sources I have checked. Your help will be greatly appreciated.”

[A] It does indeed mean “a little bit”. You surprise me a little by your question, since to me skosh is one of the most American of all words, and yet here am I, based in Britain, telling an American about it.

Though it looks like one, it isn’t an acronym. Its odd appearance is due to its having been imported from Japanese. The original was sukoshi, in Japanese a little bit or a smidgen. It first appeared in print in American English about 1951. Word researchers think American servicemen based in Japan brought it back at the time of the Korean War, though several subscribers have mentioned it was common among American servicemen in Japan in the years immediately following World War Two. It is a member of a group of words imported from Japanese in that period, others being origami, teriyaki, shiatsu, and karate. Skosh is a close imitation of the way that Japanese speakers themselves would say sukoshi in rapid conversation, suggesting that it was primarily communicated orally.

It usually turns up as an noun meaning a little bit, a jot, a small amount (“he solved the problem in a skosh more than 13 days”). One of its earlier appearances in print was in advertisements for Levi’s jeans that offered a fuller fitting for the middle-aged under the slogan “Just a skosh more room”.

Though it is now listed in American dictionaries, my impression is that it is still considered to be slang — it doesn’t often appear in books or newspapers, for example. Dictionaries say it is said with the same vowel sound as in post or roach, or as in the naturalised French word gauche.'

World Wide Words

Offensive or not offensive?

Cooz.

As in:

'She is being a total cooz about that'.

Discuss.

Eagle Vs. Snake

Today In - 'Closet Case'

Notorious J*O*E made me realize, I kind of like the Sugababes.

Ack.

Hee hee.

Sonny J - 'Can't Stop Moving'

Sigh.

I had some dental work done a week ago, and I think I may have caught a cold or infection because of it.

I was lethargic all week last week.

And then over the weekend, it took all the caffeine I could handle to let me have the will power to get up and go to the store, and do laundry.

Sunday, I was just a big pile of grey-feeling nothing-ness.

But Monday was the worst.

I felt like my whole body was conspiring against me.

The problem with this?

I had deadline for The Magazine.

I don't know about you guys, but I have to be in the mood to write.

So here it is Tuesday, and my only thoughts are how soon I can get home, take a hot shower, and slip in to the covers.

I hope whatever it is I have, dissipates quick.

And I still haven't written a word for The Mag.

Bah.

I waver on this one.

Filo & Peri - 'The Anthem [John O'Callaghan Remix]'

At times I think it's dreadfully cheesy, but other times, I kind of like it.

Ha.

Colleen made a reference that it took me a while to get.

It's Britney on 'time travel'

Audio NSFW

I really used to hate this song.

Incubus - 'Drive'

They overplayed it to death.

Eventually they stopped, and it wasn't so bad.

Reel Big Fish - 'Sell Out'

Portishead - 'Sour Times'

One of my fave C and H's.

[Click image to enlarge.]

New Feature! - 'Golden Scans'

'...that's just what I heard.'

'[Gasp!] No she didn't.'

[Some of my gays from back in the day.]

So Golden Scans is the result of me digitizing a bunch of old photos I have that I want to have on file in case of fire or whatnot.

As a result, you, lovely readers, get to see an archival history of that who is known as Big Daddy.

P.S.

The names have been omitted to protect the not so innocent.

This is how we did it.

Outside of a Pride Week kick off party.

Rave On Raver

A buddy of mine sleeping on our way back from what was to be my final rave ever, in Gardner, CO.

That was one hell of a drive back.

Like 300 miles.

Frozen Parody

For Colleen!

Since I know she loves abandoned buildings and such, and I don't have an email for her.

Denver Infill got the chance to tour the dilapidated Fontius Building.

Link is here.

Six Degrees Of Parker Posey - 'Audrey Hepburn'

See if you can do it in under six connections in the comments.

New Link! - 'Altered Anthems'

From the site:

'THIS PAGE IS DEDICATED TO "CLASSIC" 80'S & 90'S ANTHEMS THAT HAVE MORE "MODERN" REMIXES,FAN-MADE, DJ MIXES, MASH-UPS, OR JUST DIFFERENT (NOT THE ORIGINAL 12") REMIXES. MY HOPE IS THAT THIS WILL INTRODUCE A WHOLE NEW GENERATION TO SOME WONDERFUL SONGS WE ALREADY LOVE!'

AlTeReD Anthems

Ha.

Hundreds Line Up Overnight For Opening Of New Homeless Shelter

'SAN FRANCISCO—Traveling from as far away as park benches on the other side of town, hundreds of rabid temporary housing enthusiasts lined up overnight Friday in hopes of being among the first admitted to the city's newest homeless shelter.

"I got here around 3 a.m., and already there was a crowd of people slumped over out front," said Jerome Ashford, a die-hard fan of having a roof over his head. "I had a feeling it was going to be popular, but this turnout—it's just insane. If I can't get in tonight, I don't know what I'll do."

Since last Tuesday, men and women of all ages have left the familiar comforts of air-conditioned bus stations and ATM lobbies to brave the elements outside the much-anticipated Mission District shelter. While most arrive with nothing more than three partially smoked cigarettes and a slice of bologna wrapped in a handkerchief, others have come fully prepared for the long wait with shopping carts full of supplies.

"I haven't been this excited since the bakery down the street threw out an entire trash bag of bagels," said Lawrence Jones, who took the week off from collecting aluminum cans and selling his plasma to a nearby blood bank to wait outside the shelter. "Sure, I haven't showered in a public fountain in days, and I miss the warmth of my alleyway back home, but in the end, it'll all be worth it."

Although the prospect of sleeping outdoors for nothing more than the most basic of human necessities might seem extreme to some, many in attendance say they've been looking forward to the shelter's grand opening since first reading about it beneath a blanket of newspapers.

"I started begging for subway fare the moment I heard the news," said Wendy Slovic, 41, adding that there was "no way" she could wait a couple of weeks for the crowds to thin out. "Say whatever you want, but I wouldn't trade my place in line for all the scratch tickets in the world."

For some, the anticipation of lying on a cot or having three meals a day is so great that blacking out at night has become an almost impossible task. Still many others, who have been eagerly counting down the days since fishing an old wall calendar from a dumpster, can hardly put their growing elation into words.

"Where is my soul, they took my soul away," said Michael "Bone" Zahn, who for the last week hasn't left his place at the front of the line even to use the restroom. "Broken windows like spiderwebs, a stone on a rocking chair, rain rain rain rain—begone, you cloth demons!"

Among the clamoring mass of refuge fanatics, the most devoted arrived early Sunday morning in full costume, including old shopping bags that had been fashioned into makeshift footwear and heavy ash-colored makeup covering their faces and hands. Some even carried a variety of creative signs with them.

"Back when I started lining up to get into shelters, there were only 10 or 15 of us at most," said Samuel Robins, 63, gesturing at the teeming crowd of shelter enthusiasts on hand. "To see how far things have come in the last decade alone. It's unbelievable really."

"Many of the kids here today weren't even alive when the first shelter was built on this street," Robins added.

Despite the growing excitement, a number of mega-fans who have spent the last week sleeping in front of the shelter, and the week before that sleeping behind the shelter, said they are trying to keep their already high expectations in check.

"I know it probably won't live up to the picture I have in my head, but it's still hard not to get your hopes up," harmonica musician Johnnie Brooklyn, 39, said. "You want it to be amazing—for there to be hot food on hand, maybe even hot water—but at the same time, you have to be realistic about these sorts of things."

"Man, hot water would be nice, though," Brooklyn added.

While the mob scene in front of the shelter has caused a few minor disruptions, including one incident in which a passerby was asked for spare change 143 consecutive times, only a handful of residents have reacted negatively to the swelling crowds.

"To be honest, I feel sorry for them," said Beverly Sherman, an administrative coordinator for Wells Fargo Bank. "To have so little in your life that you think nothing of camping out on the streets for days on end—it's depressing."

Added Sherman: "Seriously, these people need help."'

Cracks me up.

14 American Apparel Models Freed In Daring Midnight Raid

'LOS ANGELES—Acting on information gathered from billboards, alternative weeklies, and Internet banner ads, an FBI strike team liberated 14 dazed, sallow, and undernourished American Apparel models in a raid on the controversial organization's downtown Los Angeles compound early Monday.

"There were girls lying everywhere—draped over furniture, sprawled spread-eagled in the corner, and huddled close like animals," FBI Special Agent Curtis Froman, who oversaw the raid, said at a press conference. "Many of them had been given nothing more than a pair of tube socks or men's briefs to wear."

Law enforcement officials continued clearing models from the compound into the early morning hours.

Froman said it took agents nearly 20 minutes to cut through the holding-cell padlocks, only to find the ambiguously ethnic-looking captives living in "unspeakable conditions."

"They just stared up at us with blank expressions of utter confusion," Froman added. "I don't think they'd seen the sun in weeks."

Nine American Apparel security enforcers were also killed during the raid.

The models, who range in age from 18 to 22 but appear to be 12 to 14, were taken to an emergency safehouse where they were given food, clothing, and access to soap. Officials said they were conducting tests to determine whether the girls were subjected to brainwashing during their captivity.

"I thought it would never end," said Fiara, a Brazilian-Finnish brunette who was held in an empty white room for weeks in nothing but Lycra tights and a halter top. "I can't believe how good it feels to wear something that buttons again."

After freeing the captives, many of whom appeared drugged, agents seized thousands of amateur Polaroids and several dozen pairs of oversized sunglasses whose purpose remains unclear, FBI reports said.

"We may never know the full extent of what went on in there," Special Agent Hugh Conroy said. "We do know they were held against their will in an airless, windowless basement under harsh fluorescent lights, forced to sign liability waivers, and posed in contorted positions on bare cement floors. "The humiliating combinations of flimsy unitards, leg warmers, and '70s-inspired tank tops they were forced to wear clearly show a deranged mind at work. Those poor, poor girls."

Several models said they were initially drawn in by American Apparel's progressive environmental policies, sweatshop-free manufacturing, and youthful corporate identity. But their dreams of success were soon shattered.

"Before I knew it, I was squatting on the floor in this humid room with a camera pointed at my crotch," said model Gabrielle, whose image can be found on the back page of this newspaper.

Law enforcement agencies have long suspected that the company's much-vaunted vertically integrated structure deliberately hid the unpleasant realities of this international model-exploitation ring. Despite their ongoing investigations, agents present during the raid were "completely unprepared" for the level of degradation they discovered inside the American Apparel facility.

"I'll never forget those hollow, emotionless eyes," Special Agent Jane Cosgrove said. "I don't care how many stock options they were given—nothing is worth what those girls went through."

Still at large, FBI sources say, is the models' alleged captor, a shadowy, unkempt, elaborately facial-haired figure in his late 30s or early 40s known only as "the Creepy Man."'

OMG

I just got the most over-whelming craving for Gelazzi's pink grapefruit gelato.

Oh man.

If you are in Denver and haven't stopped by this place, you're missing out.

I think I might even try their Italiano Margarita soon.

What's he gonna do when his heart explodes from all the fast food?

Onion ring causes car crash

'DEERFIELD TOWNSHIP, NJ - A New Jersey man says having a car accident may have saved his life.

Bryan Rocco has a hunger for fast food but never thought a Burger King onion ring would almost kill him.

"I was eating my lunch on the road," Rocco said, adding that he soon found himself "gasping for air."

It all happened Tuesday while the painter from Vineland was driving back to his job in Deerfield Township in New Jersey.

"I was coughing. I tried to wash it down with soda. That didn't work," Rocco said. "I blacked out -- must have passed out from choking on an onion ring."

The sports utility vehicle he was driving jumped the curb and slammed into a tree.

When he came to, the onion ring was gone.

"I guess when the airbag came out, it must've dislodged it," Rocco said. "It's just amazing . . . For once, you can say it was a good accident."

Rocco was buckled up.

Now, he's a bit banged up.

"I got a little bruise on my arm here," Rocco said.

But, otherwise, he's fine.

"Something saved him. Angels, God, whatever you believe. Something happened. I'm just thanking God he's fine," said Rocco's daughter, Stephanie Hickman.

So, after all of this, you may be wondering if Rocco lost that appetite he has for onion rings and other fast food?

Not a chance.

"We work for Burger King and McDonalds a lot, so they give free food, I eat it," Rocco said, laughing.'

What do you call people from Kazakhstan?

Kazakhstanian?

Kazakh?

Kazakhi?

I hated this song when I was a kid.

Heart - 'Alone'

Because they played it non-stop when it was a hit.

It was omnipresent.

But I was channel surfing the other night and this was on The Tube.

I stopped and for some reason I was hearing it with new ears.

Man, Ann Wilson has a killer voice.

I never really noticed it before.

I loved their old Barracuda-era stuff, but I now have an appreciation for their 80's work.

'All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You'

Sucks that she gets pregnant with a strangers baby from a one-night stand.

She doesn't even get his name!

At least I know the name of my conquests.

Well, at least for a day or two.

Ha ha.

Even Stevie Nicks went all 80's on us.

'I Can't Wait'

I love how....

even though she's had a hellish, miserable day, the main character lady has no problem shaking her groove thing at the end.

Donna Summer - 'She Works Hard For The Money'

Salt

Everything you never knew you needed to know about salt.

Ack!

Can you identify this sports celebrity?

J'adore Joey has the 411.

Wheeeeee!

[Click image to enlarge]

Modern Mechanix

Rubber Lamp

'Their assignment: to update the classic spring-balanced anglepoise lamp from the 1930s.

A 26-year-old Portuguese student named Tiago de Oliveira Martins de Fonseca concluded that he couldn’t improve on the design, which has already gone through countless refinements.

Instead he would give it a well-deserved respite from its upright position by splaying a rubber version on its side, like melting objects in a Dali painting.'

Dwell

Today In - 'Best Buy Horror Stories'

Although I guess it's not illegal per the comments here.

'Quilty said he picked up his paperwork, which he had signed, and intended to go to the rear of the store and talk to the sales rep.

"But the clerk shouted that I can't take the application," Quilty said. "She said it belongs to the store."

Best Buy's spokesman said the clerk was following proper procedure.

Quilty said at this point he decided to leave the store - and take the loan application with him.

The clerk again insisted he leave the loan application behind.

Quilty ignored her and headed toward the door.

The clerk then shouted out to a security guard.

The security guard told Quilty to stop and return the loan application.

Quilty kept on walking out of the store and into the parking lot.

The security guard followed him.

"He never touched me or threatened me in any way," Quilty said. "I will give him credit for that."

Quilty tore up the loan application as he walked through the parking lot.

"As far as I was concerned, the application had my name on it, my signature and my Social Security number," Quilty said. "I wasn't going to leave it behind. I figured that young girl would just toss it in the garbage once I walked out of the store. I didn't want anyone getting my personal information because I know just how much trouble that can cause."

Quilty got in his car and drove off.

"But the security guard must have taken down my license plate number because when I got home, my wife tells me the police are waiting for me," he said.'

The man who knew too much

I'm going to hell.

Some of these cracked me up.

Colo. turns poison into profit

'A cat is racing around a woman's home, crazy from swallowing its owner's attention-deficit disorder medicine.

Mushrooms are growing from a carpet flooded in a plumbing disaster.

Tiny high-heeled shoes, glued to a man's feet by an angry girlfriend while he slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down his circulation.

Those are some of the weirder calls that come into the Rocky Mountain Poison and Drug Center - the nation's busiest.

Most of the time, however, the center's nurses and pharmacists are guiding anxious parents in flushing foreign substances from a child's eye or directing people to the nearest emergency rooms for critical care.

"It's crazy. You never know what to expect," said nurse Alyssa Guttenberg, 38. "I love it here."

The center, run by Denver Health, fields about 220,000 calls a year from five states and more than 70 manufacturers of products such as Clorox, said Richard Dart, the center's director.

For Denver Health, which operates on a $432 million budget, the center turns a profit of $2 million to $3 million annually.

"We're one small part of the Denver Health operation, but we are a part that makes money," Dart said. Denver Health is the city's safety-net hospital for the poor and uninsured. "Although Denver Health has been in the black now going on 15 years, some years we're in the black by about $2 million," Dart said.

Almost 4 million people in the U.S. had a poisoning episode in 2001, according to the Institute of Medicine, and 31,000 of them died - up 56 percent from 1990.

In a 2004 study, the institute said the nation lacked a comprehensive system for dealing with poison prevention and control, and it fretted about the shaky financial footing of most of the nation's roughly 60 poison control centers.

In the Denver center's office on a recent day, nurses and pharmacists sat in front of computer screens, typing and talking swiftly.

Overheard snatches of conversation give a sense of the operation - and the trappings of American life.

"Was the baby wipe the child swallowed scented?"

"You're positive it was bleach, nothing else?"

"What that chemical does is break down the exoskeleton of the roach."

Calls come in so quickly at times, 10 nurses can't pick them all up on the first ring. A strobe signals waiting callers by splashing white light around the cubicle-filled room.

Panicking parents

Patrice Hartman-Evans, 51, who has worked at the center for 18 years, quickly finished a call with a Colorado resident whose cat ate a person's pill. She then grabbed a call from Idaho. "You feel very comfortable they only got at those?" she asked a panicking parent whose toddlers had rummaged through Grandma's pill minder.

"Then they should be just fine," Hartman-Evans reassured, "but let me check the numbers."

Once, she picked up a call from a pilot, midflight, concerned about a leaky pesticide can placed in an overhead compartment. A few passengers felt lightheaded.

"He wanted to know if he should land right away," Hartman-Evans said. "I asked, 'What, in the nearest cornfield?"'

With a computerized database and answers to a few questions - no one on board was asthmatic or elderly - Hartman-Evans figured that the chemical's marginal toxicity was safer than an emergency landing.

She had the pilot increase fresh-air flow to the cabin for the rest of the flight.

Not all calls end successfully.

The mother of a 14-year-old called earlier this year, the day after the girl took too much of an over-the-counter painkiller in a suicide attempt.

"The girl had been vomiting, so the mom thought that cleaned out her system. It doesn't," Hartman-Evans said.

She sent them to an emergency room - she can't say where - and later learned the child died.

"My daughter is 14," Hartman- Evans said.

At a neighboring desk, a nurse explained to two consecutive callers that vomiting - self-induced or with syrup of Ipecac - is now discouraged.

"No, no, we don't have them throw up anymore," the nurse told one caller. "We don't give Ipecac. Vomiting only empties one-third of the stomach."

Denver's center serves Colorado, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada and Montana, said managing director Kathy Wruk.

The state of Nevada signed up this summer. When Hawaii came on about six years ago, Wruk and her colleagues prepared for the transition by researching marine toxins. "We imagined box jellyfish," Wruk said.

The breakdown of Hawaii calls turned out to be remarkably similar to those in Colorado - and across the nation, in fact.

Problems with pain relievers, cleaning substances and cosmetics usually top the lists. Then, in varying order, come cough preparations; foreign bodies, including toy parts; topical preparations; sedatives and other mental-health drugs; and bites and stings.

Wruk said children get into whatever they can - cosmetics on the counter, cleaners under the sink. "When the day is done, kids are kids," she said.

Adults, on the other hand, can be surprisingly inventive, said the center's education director, Mary Hilko.

It was Hilko who took the call from the man glued into high heels.

"Part of you wonders, was this a real call? You have to assume it was," Hilko said. "I told him, for adhesives, we usually recommend oils."

The center's recommendations for quick action can limit injuries. A person who splashes a toxic substance into his eye, for example, often does better to flush it with cold water for 20 minutes than to drive to a hospital.

"In the 20 minutes it takes to get there, the damage would have been done," Wruk said.

Many calls are for information only, such as the one Guttenberg recently took.

"Hang on one moment," she said, punching a hold button and turning to Hilko, who was standing nearby.

"Have you ever heard of mushrooms growing out of carpets in a house?" Guttenberg asked.

After a short discussion, Guttenberg returned to the caller and recommended a plumber, professional dehumidifying and possibly replacing the carpet, which could harbor spores.

Earlier that day, she guided the parent of a 22-month-old in California to an emergency room in Fresno. The call came to Denver because the parent used a cellphone with a Hawaii area code.

"The child ate adult decongestants," Guttenberg said. "That's bad. It can do cardiac stuff, increase the heart rate. ... The child was vomiting."

A few years ago, Guttenberg said she got a call from a man who used lead-based solder to try to reattach his dreadlocks - and only later considered the danger of lead poisoning.

"It's always interesting," said Hartman-Evans. "You never have to doubt that your work is important."'

One of my fave MST3K's

'Truck Farmers' and 'I Accuse My Parents'

Hubba Hubba

French And Saunders

Thanks to Clay!

Puffy vests are back?

'We want the Amway, bay-bay.'

That's what I thought they were saying the first time I heard this.

The Ramones - 'We Want The Airwaves'

New Motto

Or potential cheesy pick-up line:

'I’m sweet and low, and have no equal.'

Thunk up by Howard.

Such a weird song.

The Slits - 'Instant Hit'

Radio Nigel plays it all the time.

Now I know why carriers go 'postal'.

You get this big pile of work, and as soon as your done getting it all sorted out and completed, there's another immediate big ass pile of work.

Bah!

Ha ha.

So Notorious J*O*E has a game going on over at his site about combining musical act's names together to form supergroups.

Here's my contribution:

Chemical Brothers Johnson

Moz [Morrissey] Scaggs

Disturbed The Cure

Mozzy Osbourne

The MaDonnas [The Donnas and Madge]

Panthrax [Pantera + Anthrax]

Scissor Sisters Of Mercy

Husker Ebb or Nitzer Du[Nitzer Ebb and Husker Du]

Imogen Blossoms [Imogen Heap and Gin Blossoms]

Dubtribe Sound System Of A Down

Lynyrd Nimoy [Nimoy did that song about Bilbo Baggins]

The Who Guess Who

The Association Of Montreal

Maximo Parker [Maximo Park and Maceo Parker]

--Wow, I'm getting obscure.--

Thin Lizzie Mcguire [Ha ha. Not a real 'band']

Kanseurasia [Kansas + Europe + Asia]

Abbazappa

Santana Montana [Ha. Another Disney reference - Hannah Montana]

Lamb Of Godsmack

Peter, Paul and Murphy [Peter Murphy + Peter Paul and Mary]

ABCDio [ABC + Dio]

Panic At The Dio

10,000 Maniac Stranglers [The Stranglers + The 10k Maniacs]

Haircut 100 Missing Persons

Metallikon Kan

Sly And Robbie Williams

Kanye Westlife

Big Danity Kane

Concrete Blondie [Concrete Blonde + Blondie]

Def Zeppelin [Def Leppard + Led Zeppelin]

Steely Knicks [Stevie Knicks + Steely Dan]

Steely Damn Yankees

Bad Company B

Gloria Estefranz Ferdinand

Joe Jackson Browne

Carly Simon And Garfunkel

The Bay City Rolling Stones

ELFO [ELO and LFO]

Amerihanna [Amerie + Rihanna]

The Jam And Spoon

Justin Timbaland

The Gossip Police

Sonic Musical Youth

Kiki And Herb Alpert

Siouxsie And The Bangles

The Go-Go Team!

Belinda Rondstat

Harry Belashanti

Bjork Yaz [sounds like 'broke ass' - ha]

George Michael Buble

Ugly if you ask me.

'Take off in Color this Season with Gap & Vespa

This Holiday Season Gap has teamed up with Vespa to launch the 2007 Limited Edition Vespa LX50.

Priced at $5999

The 2007 Limited Edition Vespa LX50 is custom detailed with the Gap Crazy Stripe design.'

Jane's Addiction - 'Had A Dad'

Whua?

I am getting hits on web searches on 'Orbit Gum Acne'.

Anyone know what that's about?

Xavier Cugat Rulez!

powered by ODEO

Try this link if the player doesn't work.

'Ride the SLUT'

Thanks to Clay!

SLUT -- Streetcar's unfortunate acronym seems here to stay

'There's a story going around South Lake Union, but a spokeswoman for Vulcan, Paul Allen's development company, says it's just an urban legend.

That aside, the story that the neighborhood's streetcar line now under construction was called the South Lake Union Trolley until the powers that be realized the unfortunate acronym -- SLUT -- seems here to stay.

Officially, it's now the South Lake Union Streetcar. But the trolley name already has caught on, and in the old Cascade neighborhood in South Lake Union, they're waiting for the SLUT.

At the Kapow! Coffee house on Harrison Street, they're selling T-shirts that read "Ride the SLUT."

"We're welcoming the SLUT into the neighborhood," said Jerry Johnson, 29, a part-time barista. Johnson said the T-shirts were done just for fun, but they seem to have tapped into something: The first 100 sold out in days and now orders for the next 100 are under way.

Behind the ribbing is a little resentment about the changes some residents feel have been pushed on them.

"There was a meeting with representatives from the city several years ago," Johnson recalled. "They asked us what we could do for you. Most people raised their hands and said 'affordable housing,' " he said. "Then the people from the city huddled together -- 'whisper, whisper, whisper,' -- and they said, 'How about a trolley?' "

With the tracks laid and the Westlake to South Lake Union streetcar on schedule to start running in December -- no specific date yet -- there's resignation.

"What's done is done," says Don Clifton of the decision to build the $50.5 million line.

The neighborhood even has lost its name, they said.

In its sales brochures, project developer Vulcan calls the neighborhood the Cascade and refers to South Lake Union as a broader area bordered by Interstate 5, the Denny Park area, the lake and the Denny Triangle. But outside the neighborhood, it's rarely ever called the Cascade anymore, going instead by ubiquitous South Lake Union.

So, "We learned how fun it is to change the name of things," Clifton said of the streetcar's nickname.

On Wednesday, the neighborhood was filled, as it has been for months, with the clutter of construction from new buildings and the laying of the streetcar's tracks.

Some areas remain blocked during construction.

"It's not so bad," said 32-year-old Jennifer Cea, a student at the nearby Cortiva Institute massage school who was in line at Kapow! "It's more irritating, turning a corner and running into a detour."

The shirts are funny, she said, but she wouldn't wear one. "I'm a mother," she explained.

The construction in the area was more than just inconvenient earlier this month. On Sept. 7, a dump truck from one of the construction projects in the area hit two bicyclists at Fuhrman Avenue East and Eastlake Avenue East, killing one of them.

"I love it," Clifton said of the construction noise. "I was getting too much sleep before."

"I especially like the dust and the big holes in the ground," Johnson said. "But we can't wait to have the SLUT."

Seattle transportation spokesman Gregg Hirakawa and Vulcan spokeswoman Kym Allen say the name "streetcar" wasn't selected to avoid the provocative acronym. Trolley seemed vintage, whereas streetcar sounded more modern, Hirakawa said.

And the streetcars -- the first of which will be unveiled Tuesday -- had the support of 45 businesses that agreed to tax themselves to cover about half the cost, he said.

Indeed, what the SLUT shirts poke fun at depends on the wearer.

For Tom Long, 36, and Michael Giovannoni, 19, who were at the Kapow! during a break from massage lessons, the shirts are a way to mock the years Seattle, a city that's supposedly progressive and environmental, has spent in gridlock while building mass transit.

"Judging by what other cities of our size have, we're way behind," Long said.'

Project

So due to a weird combination of watching Tim Gunn's Guide To Style and Clean House, I am embarking on a project to go through my closets and begin editing them down.

I was doing laundry and realized how much crap I have that I don't wear.

I have been stuck in a rut wearing pretty much the same ten things for the last few months.

So with the weather changing, and being motivated on what I saw on those shows [man, some people are pack-rat slobs], I made a vow to wear everything I have without repeating an outfit twice, until I run out of clothes.

That way, I can see what still fits, what I still like, and what can be given to charity.

So as of today we are starting week three.

I am betting that I might be able to make it to the middle of December before I run out.

I am definitely not going to wear a tux to work though.

Speaking of the tux, what kind of cracked me up the other day was how I got to thinking if I were to pass away, and some friend or family member would have to go through my stuff, they might think I was some kind of an oddball.

'Was he a Shriner?'

'I didn't know he was in the Navy!'

'What's with the NASCAR jumpsuit?'

Ha ha.

When I bartended at Tracks, we often had theme parties, so I have amassed quite the collection of outfits from those days.

I actually do have a Fez and a Shriner's outfit.

I kept it in case I needed an emergency Halloween costume.

It may be time to part with it though.

Bill Clinton Jr.

Mean Dirty Pirate

Hmm....

You Are Scissors

Sharp and brilliant, you can solve almost any problem with that big brain of yours. People fear your cutting comments - and your wit is famous for being both funny and cruel. Deep down, you tend to be in the middle of an emotional storm. Your own complexity disturbs you. You are too smart for your own good. Slow down a little - or you're likely to hurt yourself. You can cut a paper person down to pieces. The only person who can ruin you is a rock person. When you fight: You find your enemy's weak point and exploit it. If someone makes you mad: You'll do everything you can to destroy their life

Are You Rock, Paper, or Scissors?

Ha.

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract models!
You attract artsy people!
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

Oi! You 'avin a laugh?

You are 61% English.

Getting there. You may wish to pay attention to the world around you.

"And did those feet
In ancient times,
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
In England's pleasant pastures seen?"

Well, no, but it's a cracking good tune.

How English are you?
Create a Quiz

Fuhgeddaboudit.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Northeast   Judging by how you talk you are probably from north Jersey, New York City, Connecticut or Rhode Island. Chances are, if you are from New York City (and not those other places) people would probably be able to tell if they actually heard you speak.
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The Midland
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz